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4/29/12

Real Life Relationships

I have talked about how it is hard for me to make and keep friends before. I don't think it is anything new for women my age and bloggers. It seems like the majority of us are shy and make online friends much easier. Mari sent me a link to another blogger that also has the same problem. I am not discounting the relationships I do have but I yearn for that everyday buddy. A bosom buddy that I can hang out with on spur of the moment and have tons in common with. We would figure out which Sex and the City character we are, dye our hair the same color and go on photo-taking trips. We would sit for hours and crochet and thrift our little hearts out.

The mister thinks I expect too much and will not be able to fulfill my friend fantasy. But for him, it is different. He has at least a dozen guys that he can hang out with any day of the week. I am not saying that my issue is gender specific or that women compete and can't be friends with each other. Because I hate when people say that and I don't think it is true. It is simply my personality that doesn't make the friend-making job any easier. I can be a bitch sometimes, but always with a sense of humor behind it. I am independent and not co-dependent. I can do things by myself and find my own answers. I don't ask for help very often and I am not a big talker. I am also strong-willed and have very specific and strong views on a lot of subjects, like fat acceptance, feminism, religion and politics. Having friends with similar views is important to me, although it may be asking too much. But I feel like I am at a point in my life that I can choose my friends and I should be able to relate to them. I definitely don't want a friend that is exactly like me but if you are going to talk about how birth control shouldn't be covered by insurance and that gay marriage is a sin, we are going to have a problem. 

For almost half of my life, my husband has been my best friend. And he does a great job but I don't think he can watch another episode of Gossip Girl with me and is not open to painting each others nails. I totally get jealous of people that have a girl's night out and have these awesome relationships with other women. Does being an introvert mean that will not be me?

I am very grateful for my online friends! I would have never thought I could find so many people with common interests and that open me to new things. There are a few lovely ladies that I have plans to meet up with and a couple I have gotten to know in real life already. I even made a little section in my sidebar for my blogger friends. It reminds me that I am not alone and that they have a special place in my heart. Where else could I get an awesome vegetarian recipe, fashion inspiration or people that care so much? Nowhere! These are the rockstars that I have gotten to know from their blogs or when they leave a comment on mine. I have been adding faces but I am sure I still missed a few. When I started the section, it soon became overwhelming because there are so many of you! 

I don't feel sorry for myself or blame anyone. I obviously need to make more of an effort! I need to take a deep breath, put aside my social anxiety and jump into it. I can make a few coffee dates and give more when it comes to my friends. I can't expect people to go all in with me right away. Best friends don't happen overnight. I have some walls I can put down. Being hurt in the past does make me hesitant to be vulnerable again. I hope it will happen naturally and I will have some cool ladies to hang out with in real life.
- Rachele

64 ♥ COMMENTS ♥:

Cassie said...

i love this post...it really speaks to me, i thought i was only me!while i do have a handful of really good friends,i miss having an everyday buddy...i have also been with my hubbster for almost half my life so naturally i share everything with him but as you said there are just some things they dont get!(just like i get bored watching football with him!).i have blamed moving abroad and being a foreigner for not finding a good friend, but i have met some lovely people on line who i really have so much in common with...so i guess with age you win some you lose some...although i never give up hope,i stay open and postive and shall see what happens....
thanks for this great post!

Laura Gill said...

Sometimes the internet makes real-life organic friendships harder--I always struggle with the way you're still really connected to people online even if you stop hanging out in real life. makes it difficult to motivate yourself to give that person a call! I always find the best thing to do is make plans in advance, and try to set up something regular, because then you HAVE to go out and socialise even if you feel a bit scared and it's raining and the bed looks super cosy (i.e. swimming and a coffee on tuesdays, with someone you only slightly know, turns into a great friendship!). Anyway, good luck!

Andshecamealive said...

This post almost feels like I wrote it.

I'm introverted and I just feel that with the 'friends' I've had in the past that I can't fully put something into a relationship with friends.
I feel the same way... I want so much out of a friendship but feel that I'll never find a 'girl friend'.My husband is awesome and will watch anything with me, he's painted my nails when I couldn't, he's let me paint his to test out colours, he knows the difference between Nsync and Backstreet Boys, sings along with Spice Girls, calls things 'cute' like I do, even though he totally didn't understand what that really meant when we got together. He's my total best friend, but man, a girl friend to talk about him with and to do girly shit with would be fun. But I'm flaky and want everything to be on my terms. And that's so much to ask.

Lollylikes said...

I am having the same problem. Being 32 and recently moved 300 miles away from home I am finding it terribly hard to meet girly friends. I have joined up with facebook groups, went to a Plus Sized clothes swap and going to a Plus Size Blogger Event. I even joined okcupid to meet lady friends. I am slowly meeting people but I too long for the bestie like you you have when you are kid. I know these things take time but it should be so hard to make friends.
P.S I have posted a blog about my glasses collection. You might find it interesting 8) xhttp://lollylikesfatshion.blogspot.co.uk 

Michelle said...

I've never been in your situation but I imagine that if I was married my friendships would change.  I have friends that turn up any time, they have keys to my house, they are a huge part of my life.  Sometimes they say and do thing that make me go grrr but I have to remember why I love them. I am like you when it comes to big things like if a friend thought gay marriage was a sin.  I actually had a friend last year stop talking to me because she met my gay friends.  I really do think it will happen naturally for you.  I use to be so shy and it stopped me getting to know people.  Most of my friends I have made at university, I couldn't not talk there!  I've found that people come into my life at the right time.  Some of the friends I have now wouldn't have been my friend a few years ago if the had met me then. Wow this is a long rambling comment! xo

Charis said...

I have plenty of friends but as a natural introvert I actually find maintaining those friendships quite difficult as I go through phases where I just don't want to be around people. It's quit an odd situation to be in! The beauty of friendships online is that they develop so naturally & you do have a circle of friends with similar interests that you don't feel you need to be somebody else in front of & if you want to stay home it's fine! Yay for online friendships!

kristindawn said...

I can totally relate to this post. I don't have any close girlfriends anymore, been hurt in the past by people I thought were my good friends, which can make things a little more difficult to trust others. I'm also pretty shy, which doesn't help that much. I've had some friends here and there come into my life recently but something didn't really click. We were too different... they were against things I loved or liked to cause drama (I hate drama, sooo much), so that didn't work to bring things to a BFF level. I'm a very chill person and all for to each their own, you can totally be yourself, but if you are going to try and make me feel bad for loving something or feeling a certain way, then that's not cool. But I definitely miss having a close girlfriend as well.

Don't give up! I'm sure there are some awesome ladies out there who would love to have some girly hangouts with you. :) You're a very lovely lady and your idea of having a night to figure out which Sex and the City characters you are, dye your hair, go on
photo taking trips, doing some crochet and thrifting, sounds perfect! ♥

kate said...

What an amazing post! I totally know where you're coming from and wish it were easier to make girl friends. I find it especially difficult since I moved to a new city this past fall and can't seem to meet a single person wih similar interests! Why do all the girls here like top 40 radio and sports so much? Alas. I just keep doing the things I love and hope that one day I will meet an awesome new friend that way!

veronica leto said...

I relate to this so strongly that it made me cry. Hang in there... one day your fantasy friendship dream is going to come true.

Nicola said...

Yes, yes, and yes. 

My mum has no friends, so maybe it's a family thing. She has sisters, and goes out with the ladies she works with every couple of months, but she doesn't have anyone to just hang out with. I don't want to be like that! Especially as I have no sisters, so can''t rely on family in the same way.

SimplyyMayra said...

I totally relate to the thoughts you have so sincerely voiced; that is what I most highly respect of you...your being true to YOU!  Your words have strung a cord deeply seeded in my heart, I can't contain the tears streaming down my face (was totally not in my plans for today). I, as you, yearned for a true best friend.  I never got the chance to share that although I have many traits of Samantha, Miranda and Charolotte, I'd definitely be Carrie Bradshaw. Thank you for allowing me to express this here today.  I've been a blogger since Feb 2012, yours was the first I followed because I saw many things of me in you...passion for what we believe, unique sense of style, to mention a few. And although I am feeling that perhaps the same situtation I encountered regarding freinds in the "real world" I'm finding here in the "blog world", I want to thank you for your sincerity of YOU because it just made me a stronger ME!  I appreciate YOU Rachele and I just wanted you to know that!  Tootles! SimplyyMayra

Shewearscrazywell said...

Seriously....I wish that Michigan and Oregon were much closer because lady....I think you could be a soul mate of mine!!!  In fact...its been since November since I dyed my hair bright red....and I feel like I'm ready and you are a big part of the inspiration of doing it again!  I also agree with many of your view points...I don't think your expecting too much out of a bestie but it is difficult to find another lady who has worked out their juvenile jealousy issues and can seriously want a drama free friendship that is filled with love and acceptance.  I think your only problem is sometimes distance divides us from each other.  Just know...I'm here in Michigan...follow your every post...and adore you and you ideas!  If you ever find yourself in my neck of the woods...we shall thrift, dye hair, and gossip about guilty t.v. pleasures till your hearts content! Hearts, Janna Lynn

Cowboy Bunny said...

I can totally relate as well.  I do have a very dear friend from college, and we lived close together for about 4 years, and then they moved.  We have busy lives, but we try to at least call every couple of months.  It's hard though not having someone to regularly , as you said, go get coffee, see a movie, or just hang with. I miss that.  As mom, it seems like it's even harder to make this happen.  It seems like no one has time to hang out, and it's hard to make new friends.  I'm shy, I'm not the first person to initiate a conversation, usually.  My husband has his buddies to hang with, and he always hopes I can have that at one point again.  It sometimes feels like the new kid at the playground.  But the good part is , is that as an adult I can call the shots.  
Great post!

Marilyn said...

I hear you! I wish I can get together with my blog friends.  I've read that XOJane article too and I totally understand.  Especially at my age, a lot of my friends have families and kids so I can't just spontaneously hang out with them. I miss those days too and I end up spending a lot of time mostly with my boyfriend but some things he just won't get.  I love the internet for things like this and still being able to make connections with others.  That's just the age we're living in now.  Hugs to you! xoxox! 

Blackcatmagic said...

I talk about this ALL the time with my husband.  Being an only child for the most part I'm ok going on adventures alone.  My husband and I do not have the usual set-up.  We're both very much ok (with a quick check-in) to say going here for this or off to here for that.  Many, many couples are not like that.  I get so frustrated when a friend says well I have to see what So & So has planned for us. Like what?  You can't make plans for you?  To me it feels like a cop-out.  So eventually I'm like eff it and do my own thing.  Also once you throw in not having kids people get even weirder.  Like really?  You're married, have retained your "self" and you do not have children??  And how can you be an introvert, be covered in tattoos AND have very loud hair????  What makes me sad is when I go into work we'll all talk about our wkends and I'll talk about whatever weird (to them) stuff I did. and I can tell they want to go along with it!  Oh well.  At least we'll have fun memories in a nursing home when we're old!

waterbearhunter said...

Rachele, I really relate to this as well. Somebody said earlier, " its almost like I wrote this," and I feel the same way. I have such a hard time getting girl friends. It funny, I'll come home somedays all excited and tell the husband, "Oh my gosh, I met someone today! She's sweet and pretty and got my number!" He's always really supportive of my friending endeavors because he knows I am sensitive about it. One of the last girls I was really getting along with (we drank tea together, and made cookies, watched garbage British sitcoms, it was magic! And her four-year old son was wonderful!) ended up finding a boyfriend, getting pregnant, had a miscarriage and then moved away, all without telling me anything! She was just gone one day, never returned my calls, and I had to find out through somebody else what happened to her!
So I've been having really bad luck with the ladies. I always seem to strike out. I sympathize so much with what you and the other commenters have said. Sometimes I think its because I am in a serious relationship. Like, if I was single and leading a slightly different lifestyle people/girls wouldn't think I just like to stay home every night with my man doing domestic stuff. Not that I blame my man, he is wonderful, but have you ever felt that way? Like maybe people are intimidated or put off at the possibility of being a third wheel or something? I love staying at home doing domestic stuff but I also love going out sometimes, and the idea of a lady sidekick to go to shows or movies or anything with sounds too good to be true. Hang in there, gorgeous lady! You are not alone, I wish I could hug you!

Jaymi Guess said...

I relate to everything you said. <3

Meg said...

It is hard to make friends as an adult! Being in school made it so much easier for me. But now that I'm older, there's less opportunity and there aren't obvious topics to get you talking (the way homework was in school.)

It really does come down to just making the effort. I think most of us can sense the potential for friendship in those brief, everday encounters, but we just never make the first move. I met a friend at my old job, and I remember when I asked if she ever wanted to hang out I felt as if I was asking her out on a date! I was so nervous. What if she didn't really like me, and had just been being nice until that point? What if I had just made things extremely awkward for her, and she didn't know how to say no? But you know what, she was thinking the same thing--that we should hang out, outside of work as friends. We had clicked in our chats at work, and it was apparent to both of us that we were compatible. It also helped that we were both newish to the area and didn't know a whole lot of people. And today we've become pretty good friends.

So really, I think it's just about reaching out. I go to book club and library events because, as an introvert, I feel like that's where I'm most likely to meet the people I get along with. Other people go for that same reason, and it's likely that you'll cross paths. The people are there, it's just a matter of reaching out.

Aarika Webb said...

The whole time I was reading your post I kept thinking "Oh my goodness, I could have written this myself!" I feel like it's hard to find another female that I have much in common with (most of the ladies in my area are "party girls") and when I finally do, they seem to get bored with me or something. Usually as soon as I get close to anyone they end up friend dumping me. 

I'm Aarika, btw. I'm new to blogging but I've been reading yours for awhile and I think you're swell! :) I would go on a thrifting extravaganza with you any day. 

Becky Bedbug said...

I have 2 friends, excluding my fiance. I don't even see them often, especially the one I am closest to as she lives a good while away. I don't even have online friends. I've just never been very good at making friends. I have anxiety so it's just too much for me.

Regardless, I'm very happy with the friends I do have. We have very close relationships and I am more than happy with that.

Becky
xx

http://www.beckybedbug.co

Lesley Jean Saligoe said...

I joke all the time that I am going to start "friend auditions." lol I have longtime friends but as people marry, have babies, and move to start new jobs my circle has shrunk substantially. We still spend time with other couples and my sister is here some of the time but I, like you, yearn for that friend I can vibe with like no other. My husband thinks its sort of selfish. You know that I want this rad girlfriend. (And that she is funny and quirky and cool and awkward and smart and progressive.) I can't say I've had that ever. (I love my sister dearly but we have different interests.)  I usually have held down close male friendships but as they have gotten spouses things change. Its inevitable. No woman wants to share their man all the time with some other chick. 

My personality is weird. I seem to rub girls the wrong way at times. I may laugh too loud or share too much or tell jokes that piss them off. (Atheists a have hard time making friends, I'm convinced.) Sometimes are values or ideas are so far apart there is no way we could really be friends. I also don't want to party or get really drunk. I am too old (and married) to chase guys. I want a farmer's market friend. A museum friend. A thrifting friend. A movie night friend. Not necessarily a friend to help me put glitter all over my scantly clad body before we down Smirnoff Ice and go look for hot guys. lol 

I've tried in the past 7 years to make woman friends. I've hosted women only dinners and picnics. I've tried to reach out to women and form a bond. I can't say its been a success. I had multiple girls sleep with  my ex boyfriend and try to hide it. (Can you imagine what a painful fiasco that was?) Even the girls I like and have managed to stay friendly with just haven't clicked. Orrrr, just as we're getting off the ground they move. :(

I understand. Girlfriends are the best. They are! I have long distance girlfriends but I would totally love to have someone here. 

Cija Black said...

Hello I'm new to your blog but already I love it.  I too have a hard time making new friends and I am a bit over the top, totally an Aries, speak my mind etc.  I moved to Portland, OR from San Diego and well this might sound weird but I posted an ad on Craigslist to recruit some new friends.  You see I have always been the personal ad/online profile type dating person and it's were I feel comfortable i guess in meeting people.  So anyway I posted an ad in the friends section kinda stating who I was and to see if some other chicks wanted to meet.  Well to say the least it was interesting and I did insult one girl with my love of the movie Meet the Feebles, but out of that I made a great friend.  We ended up starting a girl group that had hung tough for awhile called Lady Brunch and brought in some other friends. 

I tend to be a loner, but I do get the urge to hang out with others from time to time and all I'm saying are there are totally ways to meet in flesh people if you want to be a bit adventurous.

I live in the Portland area and would totally be up for a cup of coffe/tea sometime if you want to chat.  Cija

Chrissy Z. said...

I  feel exactly the same, I would love to have a girlfriend that has the same interests and all the things you mentioned above! It's just so hard and gets harder the older I get.  So glad I recently found your blog! Hope you had a wonderful weekend! xxx

zombot5 said...

ah! Totally know how you feel. I have my best friend who I'm super close to and my boyfriend, but not many friends outside of that. I'm terrible at meeting people, too! I just scrolled down and read all the comments on this; it's neat to know that so many of us feel the same way and have similar issues. I hope you can find some kickass lady friends who you can have awesome times with! 


also. I would totally be down to hang out with you sometime! I'm usually stuck out here in the Beaverton suburbs, but I love spending time in Portland and discovering new places. It would be so fun to go thrifting together!

Jenny Cole said...

I know just what you mean! I recently moved, and have tried everything, it seems, to meet new people in search of that bestie friend and found it really hard to meet people I relate to, or to get past those initial pleasantries. It's reassuring to find that other people find it hard too. Jen x

Janet Lopez said...

I hear ya girl. :\ I had a best friend for a a good 10 years and then she started hanging with the wrong crowd and things got out of hand. I wish we could have ended on better terms but I guess all those years together meant nothing. I've been trying to find a new best buddy for a while now and there are a few ladies in my life now that are kinda there but not quite. I'm naturally shy (which doesnt help) and sometimes people dont get my sense of humor :(   my boyfriend is awesome and is my best friend now but I need some gal time haha  Hang in there. I'm sure you'll find a friend who will have similar interests and some ones you know nothing about to teach you a few things and vice versa!  .n__n.

erin garza said...

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.  I had social anxiety since i was very small.  while im a patient person and generally get along with all sorts of people it was still very hard to genuine friends.  i was never in the in-crowd and always slightly overweight (back of the rack digger).  i only had a handful of friends that i could lean on, and even then i never shared everything.  even now as an adult...i have lots of friends but only a small handful of people that i know i can call on at any time.  my closest friend for the past almost 10 years, that i never felt inclined to hide anything from, is now my husband.  i love your blog...looking at your thrifty things... gratuitous cat pics...your love for you...and your heart to hearts.  i love that the blog-o-sphere has allowed people from all over the place meet and become friends.  <3

Chickadee said...

Yup. I have a bit of the same problem. I have depression, and go through times when being around people is difficult and there are lots of times I cancel plans because I don't have the physical or mental energy to be around other people. I know that gets old to my friends.
Plus, being a person with no children at my age also makes it difficult to make friends, because most women have children, and therefore have other friends with children and are involved in school etc.
So, I look at the quality of the friends I currently have and try not to wish for more, although when I am feeling good, I do get lonely and wish for more.

Natalie - Hazel & Agnes said...

Wow. I can't believe how true this is for me. Thanks for being honest about it. I think the tendency is for bloggers to make their life look perfect- it's nice to fantasize that you, too, can have an idyllic life, but it's not realistic and sometimes it just makes me feel alone in my imperfect life. This was refreshing.
I'm a sometimes-temperamental person, and my husband is my best friend, too- it's why I married him. Honestly I'm relieved that a "normal", upstanding, tax paying citizen feels the same way. :D

Anna said...

I'm sure that when you make the effort to reach out to people, whether it's through parties or casual get-togethers, you'll eventually make friends and find close ones who'll trump the "Sex and the City" group or the "Gossip Girl" click ;) I know how difficult it can be to want to turn to a girlfriend and just hang out and kill time. Here's to having girlfriends and rockin' good times! Cheers! :)

Icanbarelytype said...

Aw, man I feel ya girl. I've been going through the same exact thing myself. I moved far away from my home town for work and love, and the two close-ish friends I have here are about to move away and i'm sad. And lonely. I even made what I thought was nice strictly platonic Craigslist ad but so far no biters. Making fwiends is hard. Good luck!

Lora Abbett said...

I totally feel you on this! I used to have two really close friends that I would hang out with on a regular basis and do all the kinds of things your talking about and it was great. But, then we all went our separate ways and now I haven't had that kind of a relationship with anyone in a few years and I'm not going to lie. It sucks! You seem like a really cool chick, so I hope you do find that friend or friends. I think it is something that everyone should have in their life. :)

Geetabix said...

I know what you mean!!

lilly said...

I really get this one! and I appreciate how lovely you've written about this whole friend issue. After moving out of the state I grew up in, it's really been just me and the Mr. I'm terrible at making new friends and definitely have to make more of an effort so that I don't have to rely on him to be my shopping buddy (he hates doing it but I think he feels bad about me being so lonely here) It totally IS so much harder at this age!
 

buberella said...

I have this same damn problem. I feel like it's easy to make friends but difficult to keep them. I don't know whether it's that I let down my guard too soon or if I expect too much but I always get hurt and then that hurt leads to anger and the second I get angry, it feels like the other person bails. I don't know if I'm seeking out friendships with people based on the wrong reasons like superficial interests or if I'm just kind of too accepting of whatever kind of friend calls me the most. I think what I need to do is be a friend without giving too  much of myself away. Because when I do that, I end up feeling like the other person is responsible for my feelings when really they aren't. That said, I do think it's important to have a similar outlook on the world. Ah IDK, it's so hard right? Anyway, I feel ya. 100%.

Jenny J said...

Totally relate to this. Since I moved away from home I feel I'm missing those really close friends in my life. My boyfriend is my best friend, and, like you, we've been together a long time. But he works offshore, so at least 6 months of the year we're apart from each other. That's when I notice that I don't have those close girly best friends anymore. Getting older sucks :(

mari said...

oh man, you know where I stand on this.  making friends as an adult is so unfortunately like dating... it's always awkward and feels like you have to hold your cards close to your chest so you don't scare someone off with your enthusiasm.  Also like dating, meeting good friends has that element of sheer dumb luck... you just never ever know when it's going to happen.  I don't think it's wrong to have high standards. But it does suck that it makes it a little more difficult to find kindred spirits.  

allison_marisa said...

I feel you. I feel super lucky to have married my best friend. I think you & I share a lot of the same opinions about stuff, and where we don't from what I've heard I really respect what you think (Plus, I am always up for discussion, I love when people can talk passionately about their opinions!). So if you ever feel brave and like grabbing a cup of tea or coffee in PDX (Have you eaten the pastries at Petite Provence? Croissants are uhhhhmazing!) let me know :)

Live.Love.Random. said...

I have to say that I am completely flattered to be on your sidebar! My daughter was super excited too...I didn't even see my my face til she pointed it out! I am in the same boat as you my friend. I feel like I just live too far from everyone and I have yet to meet a blogger who lives near Vermont, that shares the same interests. I am totally that girl who love to crochet and thrift with you! My best friend lives in Las Vegas so hanging out with her is out of the question. If you ever go on vacation up here let me know! We could definitely hang out :) 

XO,
Eeka

Cate said...

Oh, this. I am the same way, and while I have a few close friends, they all have better friends-- and I am also very reserved... after a few bad endings, it's very hard for me to let my guard down all the way.

Real life friends like you are describing are so few and far between. But when you do find them, it's worth the wait. Good luck finding yours.

Ohh Erin! said...

I can relate to this so much! I feel like the last few years of my life i've been plagued by fairweather friends. At first I tried to not let it bother me but I really long for a friend that I can count on now. 

laurie drouillard said...

I know this too well. My one friend that I would want to hang out with, chill, go see a movie with or just be dumb with lives over 1,000 miles away. All my local friends have been disappointments. Too much of me making the effort and them not being there for me. *therapy over*   I hope that you find someone that sees how great you are gives you that friendship you deserve. I wish I lived closer to you so you can make me cooler by proxy. 

elycia said...

I would totalllllly hang out with you in real life Rachele!! For now I guess I'll have to be happy to just hang out in your sidebar. :)

Cheryl said...

Wow, I had no idea, I thought I was the only one in the world with that issue.  I have never had a "best friend", my husband has always been my best friend and I am fine with that but as I get older I long for a good and true friend.  He has no good friends either just acquantances.  I always thought I was an anti social weirdo!

Gina Carpellotti said...

This post really struck home for me. I lack the circle of female friends that I once had, and it's sad to me. For instance, it's a sunny day in Pittsburgh, and I spent it in the house. Sure, I could go out solo, and I do from time to time. However, it's a pleasure to share a meal and thrifiting with a female buddy (or two). 

If your expectations are too high, then we're both sunk. I share your thoughts about real life friends. 

Rachele said...

Awesome! I am gonna come move in next door and start stalking you ;)

Rachele said...

Yay! I love having you on there! If I go on a blogger friend roadtrip I will be sure to look you up :)

Rachele said...

Mmm...Petite Provence is one of my favorite places to brunch. We don't go there nearly enough! We should totally plan a coffee date :)

Rachele said...

That is my worst fear. I overshare or get really enthusiastic and I guess not everyone is into that...

Rachele said...

I totally know what you mean! I put the cart before the horse all the time and probably need to slow down.

Rachele said...

Thank you! I know I can do it :)

allison_marisa said...

oh my gosh, when they had the brie and egg scramble on the menu, it was mind-blowing! in case you couldn't tell from that statement, breakfast is one of my favorite meals :) and yes! email me: allisonrossblakeley@gmail.com and we can chat some more!

Rachele said...

While it is nice to read those blogs, I would rather be honest about some things that I know other people can relate to. I don't want to be too TMI but a little ranting and heart to heart has it's place in the blog world too. Nobody is perfect!

Rachele said...

I understand that too. I have back pain and migraines and just feel like being antisocial sometimes. Or least really lowkey. I need to find someone that understands that. Yep and no kids either! Here's to finding our kindred spirit!

Rachele said...

Thank you dear! And thanks for sharing. I have a group of friends too but I guess my true best friend will always be my husband, unless I make an effort to let my walls down and spend time with someone.

Rachele said...

I live in Clackamas and feel a little stranded out here in the suburbs! Maybe we can visit each others suburbs :) We should go thrifting!

Rachele said...

Ditto to everything you said lady! I have thought about starting a crochet night or something. I think I know enough ladies in the area to do this now, because of blogging! 

Rachele said...

Oh I've felt the pain of being friend dumped too! And I have friend dumped people too :( I wish I could gather up all your wonderful ladies to be my new group of real life friends. Thanks for following!

zombot5 said...

I agree! That would be so fun! Email me sometime and we can make some plans :)

Frankie said...

Making friends as an adult is so hard. I have many of the same issues with making friends. I feel like a lot of people feel this way, so why shouldn't it be as easy as "You like cheese, I like cheese too, let's be friends!"

angelbunni said...

I know how you feel, I have fantastic work friends, but outside of them I don't really have anybody else to just "Hang" with. My best friend moved a good hour away, and has recently had children which means I am not very high on the priority list. This is completely understandable, but it makes it so much harder to just to have a night out. 

My Husband is my closest friend really, but I would also like to have some girlfriends who I connect with. 

Sam said...

As I was reading this, I was thinking 'arg this is me!'. Then got to the bottom and saw how many comments you have! Obviously a lot of us have this problem!

I think my issue is that I'm a total homebody. I'd prefer to snuggle up at home, than go out any day. I never meet new people, except for online. I have lovely friends but it just seems everyone has their own thing going on, including me. I also have lovely blog friends who I enjoy reading about, tweeting to and instagramming with. 

I guess that as I get older, I'm happier keeping my own (and my boyfriend's) company. Little friend visits and outings, no matter how infrequent, are nice and I'm very grateful for them.

Thanks again for putting on the sidebar, you're sweet :) x

Suzanne said...

I know I'm repeating most of what everyone has said but I seriously feel the exact. same. way.
I find it so hard to make new friends as an adult - let alone with someone who shares similar interests. I'm also quiet and often strongly-opinionated (i.e. bitchy) so that doesn't help either. I have a small group of close friends that I've had for 10-15 years, and of course we get along great - but most of them have kids now (which my husband I are choosing not to) and frankly I'm sure they couldn't care less about crafts, thrifting, indie movies/music, etc (i.e. all the things that I love). My husband is definitely my best friend but it sure would be nice to have a girlfriend who would come thrifting with me and squeal with equal excitement over a pyrex bow/owl ornament/vintage camera, or would love to spend the afternoon in a craft store and then go out for lattes together.
Good luck to you! Hopefully hearing that so many others feel the same way will help in your new-friend-making-venture :)

Rachele said...

I emailed you!

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