I use the word fat on my blog. I use it a lot. It is not a bad word. It simply describes me. The word has been embraced by the fat acceptance community. By using it, we have liberated the word. Broken it away from its negative meaning so it can no longer be hurled as an insult. I have a hard time using the words curvy, chubby, heavy set, large boned, obese and every other word out there used to either lighten the blow or file us away as unhealthy. The word curvy reminds me of Jessica Rabbit or a woman with a big boobs and a smaller waist. That is definitely not me. Heavy set sounds strange and old fashioned. Large boned is a fucking lie. Obese is a word used way too often in the medical world, and by Michelle Obama, to imply that health is based on weight and that we should wage a war on it. We all know that isn’t true. Really it isn't.
I am considered morbidly obese which is stamped all over my medical records, usually making it very difficult for me to get appropriate medical treatment. It took me 3 years to hear something other than “lose weight” when I went to the doctor about an injured back. I have been refused tests and treatments. I don’t always fit into theater seats, plane seats and sometimes have to use the handicap stall when the toilet paper roll is installed too close to the toilet. I have to nudge the table at a booth a couple inches to the other side before I can sit down. I am accused of bad eating habits and eating Big Macs by strangers whom have never seen me eat. I receive unsolicited opinions on why I am fat and what I am doing wrong. I am not in as many family photos. I think it is because they are worried that I will look fat or be embarrassed to have my photo taken or maybe they felt that way once.
But here is the deal. I know I am fat and I know that I am going to look fat in photos. The only problem I have with fat is that other people have a problem with it. I appreciate when I get compliments but sometimes I think people assume I am degrading myself by saying I’m fat and they are trying to make me feel better. They assure me that I am not fat or whatever. I am not “pretty even though I am fat”. I am not “pretty and not really that fat” or “don’t look that fat”. I am fat and pretty. I don’t see it as an obstruction blocking my goals and I am not seeking resolution or approval. I realize that using the word fat can make people uncomfortable but I refuse to sugar coat the truth and hide behind a more appeasable adjective.
I am not sure I know where I am going with this except to assure my readers that I am okay with the word fat. Fat simply describes my size and I identify with it. It isn’t a bad thing and I am not self-deprecating or making a joke at my own expense. I am secure in who I am and fat is an empowering word!
- Rachele
71 ♥ COMMENTS ♥:
Thanks so much for this. You couldn't have said it better.
I've often wanted to get one of Definatalie's beautiful typographic 'fat' necklaces.'Fat' is not taboo, fat is not bad and fat is not ugly or inherently unhealthy.This will likely sound a bit ridiculous, but I've often felt a bit stuck in the middle - I'm not thin enough to be considered 'normal sized' but I'm not fat enough to identify with and be accepted as a fat person. I love the fat acceptance community, but funnily I feel like a fraud claiming to be fat, ha. When I've used the word fat to describe myself in the past (in a non-derogatory way) people respond with "You're not fat! You just need to lose weight! X person is fat!". People often insinuate that I must be really lazy or eat badly because I "wouldn't have that far to go" to get thin. I feel like I have to justify why I am not thin. Because I know I'm not unhealthy and because I have clothes I love and feel good in, if I were to jump on a treadmill I don't know what I'd be running for. So I am making an effort to accept myself as a not-thin not-fat person.
Anyway, I just thought I'd share.
I think your outfits are consistently interesting and beautiful (as is your blog) and I love your work!
This is a great post Rachele! Fat is only a descriptive word and it's the other connotations that people have associated with it that are the problem. Yes I am fat but that doesn't mean I'm lazy, unlovable, dirty or any other negative implication somebody may throw about.
You are unapologetically who you are and that is fabulous. Anybody who tries to deny you of that is being ridiculous and phobic. They are also probably in the wrong place:)
I wish we had bloggers and blogs like you and yours when I was growing up (and I'll bet that you and others have felt this way too--I'll be 27 this year, btw). For a very long time, the word "Fat" used to make me sick and ashamed. In elementary and middle school it was a word that was hurled at me by my so-called "peers" to push me away from the group (it worked). By the end of middle school and beginning high school, my attitude had slightly changed but hearing the word, especially if it was aimed at me, made me bristle and become defensive. In the 9 years since I've graduated high school, my outlook has changed completely...and it's partly due to reading blogs by other young women who are about the same age as myself who have had similar feelings or situations in their lives as well. My confidence and style and body-positivity have shot up through the roof, especially in the past two or so years, because of bloggers like you, Rachele. The best part about reading blogs like yours is expanding the mind to accept things that were so hard before. When you said "Fat and Pretty," tears came to my eyes, because 12 years ago, I would have died just to hear that very thing. "You are fat and pretty." The closer I get to age 30, the better looking I believe I get. I think I'm more beautiful now than at 18, more beautiful than 21. And you're right, trying to use other words to try to pacify or explain or whatever is just ridiculous. A fat cat is still a cat. A fat girl is still a girl. My most recent motto has been to "own it." Well, I'm fat, and I own that shit. Thank you so much Rachele for this post. You are a wonderful soul! <3
Boy, how I wish I had this kinda support when I was growing up! I remember how awful I felt for being fat. One day (years ago) the whole family went to spend the day at the beach, I stayed home all alone and sad because I felt I did not fit in this world, I felt like an outcast. In my sadness a poem emerged and poem that til this day I remember, here is a short verse..."it would feel like a dream, my spirit would fly like a dove, but then I would realize it's my soul I must love..." Wow, this post just made my day! Today I am fat and I am beautiful! Wish I had more time to share, but gotta run for work, just noticed I got 20 minutes to get there eeeekk! Thanks Rachele! Catch all you fat and beautiful and phenomenal ladies around the blog world! Tootles!
Thank you so much! This post is amazing! Where were you when I was 16? I felt so terrible because i wasn't a size 6 like the rest of my friends. I was smaller then, than I am now and I had horrible confidence. Now I have grown to accept that I will never be a size 6. I am currently a size 20, but would love to be back down to the size I was when I met my husband. I am not dieting for anyone, but me. Its not because I am uncomfortable with myself, its because I want the challenge. If I lose weight, I lose weight. If I don't, to hell with it! haha. I have no problem with being the size I am.
Thanks again, Rachele!
Love this post!!! I to am a fat and beautiful woman. It's a funny word to people, generally assumed to be offensive but it's not! I am fat, I also have tattoos, I am also only 5' 2', and I have blue eyes, and so on. To me it is simply a true descriptive word, not a negative one. Thank you for posting this, and I think you are a gorgeous fat lady!
I guess fat is a word that people use to be mean, so it's great that you've taken that aspect away and just use it to describe yourself. I think you are fab and I don't even notice your size - genuinely doesn't even occur to me to think 'oh she's fat'. I always think you have fab hair and super cute classes :P You're a star Rachele, well done for posting this! xx
AMEN! Love it! Thanks so much! This is really liberating! You are awesome! Thank you! Hugs xxx
What a liberating post for sure!!! Girl, you own it!
People always cringe when I say that I'm fat. Did they think I hadn't noticed or that I thought they wouldn't notice if nobody mentioned it? I've always felt less pretty and less feminine because of my body type. I started reading your blog last week, chopped the 11 inches of hair that was supposed to make me "look thinner" and started wearing shirts that stopped well above my mid-thigh (to hide my stomache, as if). I've found your blog and your attitude to be inspiring and affirming. I'm fat. Deal with it.
I too would describe myself as fat. I'm a UK size 18-22 on top, 22-26 on bottom.
I've always found the word "fat" to be derogative and offensive, mainly because that is the word people used to hurt me when I was a child. I have huge body issues, but I admire you for being happy in your skin and I hope that one day I will be happy or at least satisfied with myself too.
- Laura x
HELLS YES.
Rachele, you are also a rockstar.
Lovely post! It reminds me of my new all time favorite saying: "I'm FAT. Not a temporarily embarrassed thin person." I think it sums up that feeling you get (and that I get all the time) when someone tries to throw "oh, don't say that about yourself, you're not fat" at you.
Thanks for fighting the good fight and writing about this kind of stuff, I think it makes all us fatties feel a little bit better about ourselves!
I love your perscpective girl - i'm currently having a bit of a struggle with my self image. I've never been skinny and my lack of get up an go isn't ideal for getting slim. Knowing how confident and the self belief you have is so empowering and really helps me see myself beyond whatever the number on the scales is saying.
Thank you for posting this and making it out there. You're a true inspiration.
Isn't it just so crazy that people are so defined by the size of their body in the first place? It's crazy to me how much people care about other people's body, fat or not, but I am fully aware of this reality and the implications. And I admire you for embracing yourself as is whether that has to do with weight, personality, ability, whatever. That kind of confidence is rarer than it should be.
It's not mutually exclusive, and it never was!! YES! Sing it, sister.
You are my hero today and will be in my gratitude journal! I love your outlook I need to be more accepting of my body as well.
Great post rachele I wish so many people would see in that way.
-Meg
guppyandwhaleshark.blogspot.com
FATASTIC! After reading your post I went back & quickly counted the word FAT approximately 18/19 times... now that is impressive! If we could all be as loving/kind/accepting of ourselves life would be a much more contented place!!! This post makes my heart happy! Thank-you. Danielle
http://awonderfullifeinfullframe.blogspot.ca/
I have so much respect for you Rachele. Although I am not 'fat', I have battled with my self image for as long as I can remember but I absolutely refuse to eat a celery stick for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It's so refreshing to see someone who accepts and loves who they are!
I love and admire your self-confidence. You own yourself and your body in a way that very few people do, regardless of size.
I have friends who are always telling me "You don't look fat" when I say something about the fact that I am fat. I don't use the word like it's a bad thing either. I'm also "obese". When I responded to my family doctor by saying I'm fat, happy, and I love my life he smiled at me and said "that's awesome" and that was the end of the weight loss conversation.
The thing about the whole big mac thing, that gets on my nerves. I'm generally a healthy eater and I don't live a sedentary lifestyle but I just can't lose weight. I'm active, love my fruits and veggies, and don't eat out more than once a month so why, for me or you, should fat be such a bad word.
I'm so glad I found your blog through the BBN. You're such an inspiration. You're not pretty and "not that fat" you're pretty because you're fat and it's so amazing to finally see people accepting that.
i think it is beautiful how confident and happy you are with your appearance. it is honestly the way it should be.
but!... (there's always a but, isn't there?!) I think the folks who wrote those posts you linked up about how being fat can actually be GOOD for you, are probably not the most reliable. exercising, eating healthy, keeping your mental health in control, are all things that are positive for human life. You can't deny that, ya know?
But it's pretty shitty what you've been through with the doctors... That should not be happening. If they've told you once, there's no need to keep reiterating it over and over.
Own it girl ;) Thank you for posting this
I LOVE this post! ... many people could really benefit from reading your words...
Amy
www.fate-filledtimes.blogspot.ca
This is the life of a big girl....unfortunately people even family treat you like you should be ashamed and your not as beautiful as you could be than if you were skinny.I am happy being me and if I loose weight good,but I am never gonna be what society wants me to be.It's sad cause I don't look at other people that way,I see alot of big people that I think are gorgeous!
YOU ARE FANTASTIC! LOVE this post to death!
AMEN, sister!! You just summed up my feelings about a hundred times more succinctly than I ever could!
Your words are more than true. Really, I respect you!
I'm overweight too. But the society destroyed my mind or maybe I have to say I have ALLOWED it, that the society destroyed my mind!
It isn't easy to lose weight, when everybody look at you in a fitness center or in the tram. It was so bad, that I envolve a social phobia. I was so frightened when I have to go out (to the doctor or to work) that I retired.
Now it's a little bit better, but I saw and SEE actually how the society is manipulate our minds.
I don't want to say, that to be fat is bad. As long as you/we/he/she/it feel(s) good, it's absolute okay!
And that's why I adore you!
You have a great self-confidence and I wish I had it too!
Yes, you're fantastic!
And I wish you all the best! <3
Thank you for your words!
This is most excellent of you to write. Fat is yet another word that has been turned into a taboo one, as is actually being fat. Shh! don't say the word Fat, it might get you!
It took me a while to accept than I'm fat, because I haven't always been. It's a recent version of me. I fought this new me. I still do have issues when I look in the mirror, because when I see me, I don't see the me that I used to be.
Anyways, I've accepted myself now. It's way too much wasted energy to do anything else! Gosh, when I think of all the energy we waste on being a particular size, I'm pretty sure we could put that energy into saving the planet instead. ;)
I don't use "fat" as oft as I use "curvy", but I'm cool with my new fat-self. She's bootylicious!
I have been Fat most of my life, ive always been active but thats just who i am, i've always used the word fat to describe myself, over the yrs you loose count of how many ppl get defensive when you use it, who thought it would be such a problem. Its nice to hear someone talk about it, its a fantastic read.
Your blog as helped me regain who i am, society can be nasty and cruel and its ppl like you Rachele who keep it real, that makes me realise that there is nothing wrong with me, and society can go stuff itself ;)
Keep been YOU, cause you ROCK :)
I don’t think you should hate yourself for being fat, and I don’t think it’s wrong to be fat. I do, however, think that the way you’ve presented your arguments for “fat acceptence” is disingenous. When I clicked through the links in your post, what I expected to find was indisputable medical evidence to back up your assertions. What I mostly found were posts by another fat acceptence blogger, who’s links in turn went to another fat acceptence blogger. After clicking through several links I found one excerpt from one study to back any of these assertions up. I know you really want to think that being overweight does not have a negative impact on your health, and I sympathize with that. But just because enough people say something — or really want it to be true — doesn’t make it that way. The things you linked to read suspiciously like the sort of echo-chamber rhetoric you often hear from the anti-global warming crowd: supported only by isolated annecodotal evidence, and made to sound like an opinion shared by 2% of experts should be taken just as seriously as one supported by 98%.
On the other hand, it’s easy to find evidence that directly contradicts what you said. Here’s the Surgeon General doing that in some detail. According to the Surgeon General, about 300,000 people die in the United States every year are “associated with obesity” and the number of overweight adolescents has tripled in the past 13 years. Here’s a five page article from National Geographic discussing why we’ve gotten fatter over time. If being thin or fat is just a way people are, why are Americans fatter now than they used to be, why are people in other countries generally thinner than Americans, and why do people who move from other countries to the United States generally get fatter? It seems counter-intuitive — and possibly self-dilluted — to think it’s not related.
I understand why you want to believe that someone can be any size and just as healthy: I do too. I would really love it if fat people suffered none of the consequences that thin people tend not to (I know it’s possible to be thin and unhealthy too). But it’s not true. How can you think about this very critically, consider the circumstances we spent millions of years adapting to survive in, and not see that humans are simply not evolved to carry around that much extra weight on their frames. The reason your doctor has called you morbidly obese isn’t to hurt your feelings — it’s because they think this is going to kill you.
I am so with you Rachele!
I understand that you are concerned, but trying to frighten someone into a smaller size is not the best approach. I really think that perhaps you should take your fat intolerance elsewhere.
But if you're going to post these things on the internet, you gotta be ready for ppl to criticize and challenge your theories
I don't disagree with you there. That's why I responded to his comment :)
This is such a great post! I also hate the popularity of "curvy". I describe myself as chubby though, because that's what I am. I don't see myself as fat but I am overwight- chubby is the perfect description for me.
Becky
xx
http://www.beckybedbug.com
Aww.... I love this post. It's inspirational. I've been fat my whole life and have always heard all the negativity. From everyone, including my boyfriend. I know that I'm okay with my body type and others are not. To each, their own I say. Thank you for posting such an amazing post on your blog. (:
I feel ya there. It's tough sometimes! But I have to say that the more I love my body and size, the more other people shut up about it. They think they are showing their concern and being sympathetic but then they start to realize that it really isn't their place to say at all!
Awesome!
It's strange that fat is the one of the few words that people hate to hear people use to describe themselves! Especially since self-loathing is so encouraged in our culture. Definitely a huge hang up there. Keep rocking it!
So glad to hear that! I bet you were gorgeous before AND now!
Dude, society can destroy! I avoid a lot of normal TV, magazines and such. I just realized how weird and hateful it can be. Anyway, thanks for the kinds words and I hope you find your confidence too!
Haha, kill it with love!
Thank you dear <3
You're welcome! :D
I see what you are saying but I don't think they are trying to tell people that fat is healthier, just that fat in itself doesn't necessarily cause health problems and that in some cases it does quite the opposite. But when it comes down to it, other people's health isn't anybody elses business and doesn't make them a less valuable person and deserve equal amount of respect.
I wish I had that doctor! My provider and employer is very much into promoting weight loss and they are always trying to push it.
Thank you! I agree that body acceptance comes in all sizes and shapes and that's easy to forget.
That probably not be enough food to stay alive! Besides, my mister hates celery and he would never kiss me again :( But I hope you start seeing yourself as kick-ass as everybody else sees you!
Haha, I forgot to do that. I was thinking of ending the post in how many times I used the word. I knew it was a lot!
Thank you!
Yay! Do I get a cape?
Lalalala ;)
I agree! I feel like slapping people to their senses sometimes. But that wouldn't be very nice :)
Thanks! I agree! I am definitely not a thin person trapped in a fat body either.
Okay, I always wanted to be an actual rockstar. Still waiting for that dream to come true!
I hope so to! Using the word fat definitely gives you back the ownership.
Seriously amazing! If I had a nickel every time somebody told me they cut their hair after being inspired by mine. Well, I would probably have like a $1. But it really blows my mind! Love your attitude! I always feel more feminine when my hair is short.
Thanks!
Aw thanks!
You are too sweet!
Thank you! You sound like a short version of me :)
Oh no! That is so sad! I hope you are taking your hot bod to the beach these days <3
That is really where I got all my encouragement from, reading other blogs. And to hear someone say that about mine is so wonderful!
Exactly! Fat is fat, doesn't mean any of those other things.
How dare you! Kicking you out of the club! ;) Just kidding..I think if you identify with fat or just want to be an ally then it's awesome. I love Definatalie and her necklaces too! I can't believe I don't have one yet...
i never really thought about it before, i kind of hat it when i say something about being fat (something factual, like oh i don't want to go in that store, they don't have clothes for fat people) and my friends jump in with "oh you aren't fat!!!!!" as if me knowing the truth is terrible, and i couldn't possibly being calling myself fat unless i meant it as a negative. it makes it seem worse when people try to "sheild" you from it.
Bravo to you for being so comfortable with who you are! If only more women could be more accepting and loving of their bodies. I personally think you're gorgeous, and that's not a "for being such and such a size" comment. You are gorgeous, period. And I think you take wonderful pictures!
Amazing post, it really touched me! I've seen plenty of fat, pretty girls. Being fat doesn't impair anyone's aesthetic, I've known girls that looked much better fat. Though I actually prefer to use the term "big" mainly as a comfort word that doesn't sound mean from others' perspectives.
Anyways, I'm completely smitten with you and your blog, and you're absolutely stunning!
I wish my younger sister had your outlook on fat, as she has emotionally struggled with her weight for nearly her entire life, even though I believe it adds to her beauty. You would be quite the role model for her, in my opinion. :)
Hope you're doing well!
<3
I don't dig the word fat. But that's cool - you can you use it refer to yourself, and I can use another word that I do like to refer to myself! I mostly don't talk about it, I guess, because I do see my body size and weight as a hindrance and it's something I am working on reducing. I also wanted to say I love your blog because I love your style, and you give me lots of fashion ideas! And introduce me to new clothes companies that know how to dress my non-size-2 body. Yay! Nothing like a new dress that actually FITS to make a girl feel like a million bucks!
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