When I wrote Being the Fat Blogger, somebody asked me why I use the word fat. I think they felt the word was too harsh and that there were better adjectives - like curvy, plus sized, thick, shapely, chubby, etc. I like the word fat better. It isn't washed down or putting it nicely. It doesn't make me feel objectified, fetishized or sympathized. The word fat is straight to the point and has power in the fat acceptance community. It is political. We are fat and visible. We have claimed the word and use it to describe our fashion, events, blogs and everything else. There is fat summer, fat yoga, fatshionistas, fat sex, fuck yeah fat tumblrs, fatties, fat hair, fatkinis and so on. So when somebody tries to call me out and say I am fat, I can respond with, "Yes, I am fat. I am fat and fucking awesome."
I am not trying to beat them to the punch. I am not degrading myself so that when someone else does it doesn't sting as much. Fat is simply a word that describes me. Google defines fat as "Having a large amount of excess flesh" or "The presence of an excessive amount of such a substance in a person or animal, causing them to appear corpulent". Both true. So rather than be in denial and avoid mirrors, showering or fucking with the lights on, I have a healthy awareness of my body. I know that I am fat. I make a decision every day to go against what is shoved down my throat by wearing colorful or tight clothes, ordering dessert, being in love and feeling good about myself.
But I also have to deal with shit like doctors prescribing weight loss for everything from a car accident to acid reflux. Instead of being offered surgery for a trapped nerve, I am offered a nutritionalist. I have to report my weight and waist measurement to my employer and forced to take online classes about how my size is killing me. Commercials show my body as the before photo like it is the end of the world to look like me. Movies and TV shows tell me I should be an easy lay and grateful to be raped. I have been accused of being a glutton and undeserving of happiness and a partner. I have been treated rudely in public and judged by people that are supposed to love me. All based on the fact that I am fat. Without knowing anything else about me, just based on what I look like. Sometimes I confront the situation and sometimes I ignore it, walk out of the doctors office and go home and cry. People can shout at me, insult me, shame me and guilt me but I will still be fat. You can't change fat with hate. I don't let that hate make me feel differently about myself. I still want to take care of this body and make choices that are best for me.
That is why I won't stop using the word fat. I identify with fat. It gives me strength and courage to love who I am. To be visible and fucking awesome.
- Rachele
35 ♥ COMMENTS ♥:
i love this article and i love your blog!and you are freaking awesom!
Thank you, Rachele.
Thank you. As a fat girl, I have faced all of these problems too. Lately though, you are really helping me. I really appreciate that. :-)
Thank you for this post. The blog world, whilst on the whole I love it has the same effect on me that fashion magazines do; that I could be thinner, have better skin, wear a certain pair of shoes etc etc. I spend so much of my life thinking, should I eat that? What are the calories of this? It's lovely to have an example of someone who is simply happy with her body and life. Thanks :)
Hi, I just found your blog and I must tell that this post was the most honest, wonderful, awesome and refreshing thing I've read for a long time! You have a wonderful attitude, please keep it!
and with this post, you actually just gave a major boost to your Awesome Quotient! you rock, Rachele! :)
I recently found your blog and I just love *everything* about it. It's cliche to say "you're an inspiration" but.. you are! Keep doing what you're doing. :)
Yes to everything! people are so damn rude sometimes!
You are awesome!
Hola Rachele! As a fat girl myself, I can relate to all you've said...been there, done that! But because of you and your blog, I can now say the word "fat" and not feel ugly! Thanks for this post. You are radawesomely great! Power to the Fat Gurlz!!! Thanks Rachele <3
Tootles!
~SimplyyMayra :)
You said it, you are fucking awesome regardless of what size/shape you are. I can't believe you have to report your weight to your employer, I think I would consider that an invasion of my privacy. Anyway, just wanted to tell you that you rock xo
i love this post. you are amazing. x
Oh my goodness, you have to report your weight and waist measurement and take online classes? That's absurd! I have never heard of that before. That makes me a sad panda.
you know what i think is funny, people do not understand that by their actions they are making people emotionally unhappy about themselves and doesn't that seem contradictory? they cause some people so much distress. stress is super bad for our bodies and minds. if we just stop judging people and accepting people then the world would be a much happier place, not to mention everyone would feel comfortable being who they are. i always love these posts and i think you are inspiration to everyone, not just fat people. thanks rachele!
I'm totally with you on this!
I remember a girl once calling me a "fat bitch" or something. It was just the worst insult ever! "..Yeah. And?"
Beckyxx
I'd never heard of this either. What's the justification?
I don't believe something like that could be justified. That is just seriously ridiculous. That just makes me so frustrated! >:[ I hope that doesn't become a trend with employers. We should start a petition, lol!
The reason why is because they believe that people that are fat cost the healthcare system more so we have to take a health assessment to determine our risk of health problems and take online classes. If we decide not to participate, we have to pay $360-$540/yr fee. We were also told when the initiative first came out that we would have to do Weight Watchers too! It is absurd!
I agree. They recently changed it so that you receive a small bonus if you participate rather than a loss of pay. But I still hate it. I wrote more about it on tumblr if you really want to get angry :)
My first reaction: http://fattydiary.tumblr.com/post/8973976168/300-for-being-300-pounds
More reflection: http://fattydiary.tumblr.com/post/8973976168/300-for-being-300-pounds
I spoke at the capitol: http://fattydiary.tumblr.com/post/9445934644/engagement-in-discrimination
More frustration: http://fattydiary.tumblr.com/post/9659107202/i-am-angry-fucking-pissed-that-i-will-have-to-do
Right on! Accept who you are and don't let society tell you you're wrong. Embrace yourself and who you are & be effing awesome !
Stephanie
owlsinmyheart.blogspot.com
Amen, sister! I wish I had your confidence, but I am not there yet. I am still working on loving me, and your blog helps me do that. You are a great inspiration and an overall fabulous individual.
That's true, I have issues with that word, but even girls with more flesh hasn't problems with the word, I can admire that. Beth Ditto also think something similar, the word is not a insult
but sometimes we forget or maybe the big problem is the way someone tell fat to another person, is the intention, at least for me, I don´t like it XDD.
I just recently went through something similar to this at my new job when people made comments about how my work shirt wouldn't fit. It made me feel so upset and sad but at the end of the day, I showed them by wearing my shirt fabulously and giving them a big F YOU.
I love how you write things like this, because it makes me feel not alone. I'm still trying to accept my body and the way it looks and how I'm talked to. Your amazing and for people to treat others less because of weight makes me so sad. But people like you are changing the world daily and one day people will see things differently. I can't wait for the day when NO ONE thinks that fat is an insult!!
I lI've you! Everyone could take a lesson from you in self love!!!!
Once of my relatives, who I haven't seen in years, visit my home while some other family members were there. When he walk in I was at a table talking to a cousin. He says loudly to me " Danggggg.......you FAT! You been eating your mom out a home!" He keeps making comments similar to them and I ignore him. He has a sandwich in his hand and he sits in on the table and points at me. " Don't eat my food. I'm watching you!" Me and my cousin continue chatting like he's not there.
I imagine if I never found the fat acceptance movement and blogs like YOURS that feature beautiful fat girls who love themselves, i would have never loved myself and been able to ignore an asshole like him. Yes, i'm Fat and yeah people have their opinions about it....but I don't give a fuck.
You rock! Until I got into blogging I'd never met anyone with this kind of attitude towards "fatness". I'm so happy for fat acceptance bloggers because they have made me realise that I don't care about my weight, so long as I feel healthy. And furthermore, that it's no one elses business whether I'm healthy or not. I'm so, so happy that people like you are out there sharing your experiences & your wisdom!
is it shoved down or shoved done? I love you and your awesomeness BTW :D
I'm a total fatty and I love it. Size 24 - represent! It took years for me of hiding in clothing far too large for me to figure out that I am shapely and beautiful - I wish it hadn't taken so long, actually! I absolutely LOVE your blog and it's my #1 daily when I check online (I also read a few cooking blogs (I'm a Chef) and then loveelycia & daintysquid) - where I believe, I was exposed to your blog :)
Point being - I am so thankful that you're amazing, strong and proud of your fatshionista self. I don't have any fellow fatties that I am friends with in real life and being able to see someone else not giving a fuck and rocking it hard makes me feel like I have someone who has my back.
Rock on, sistah! Much love your way.
http://adiposeandangels.blogspot.com/2012/08/out-of-mouths-of-babes-and-adults-with.html
Ironic that you posted this yesterday...I wrote the blog above yesterday, which speaks to much the same thing. We must have been drinking the same water yesterday. Great minds think alike!
This post really had an impact on me, for a lot of my life I was called "fat" and was lead to believe its the worst possible thing you can be in the entire world. It's really not, its just the opposite of skinny. I have been subjected to similar treatment that you have - going to the doctors for an inhaler for my asthma and being told about this great weight loss thing they were doing, I remember shopping with a good friend once and we went into a clothes store and I got the filthiest looks. Over the years I have lost a lot of weight, but that was my own decision and whilst its not for everyone, it was something I needed to do for myself. But the difference in the way I was treated when I was size 24 to the way I get treated now that I'm size 14 is really quite shocking. I get treated better now by friends and strangers now that I've smaller, it just doesn't seem right to me. Keep doing what you're doing - you're awesome!
Hehehe, the part about fucking with the lights on, Aww yeee... hahaha but anyways, great post. Really enjoy it when you post things like this. Whether I'm having a good or bad day, your inspiration is a mood changer. Thanks for everything you do to help fats girls like us get through another day and feel accepted. <3
Amazing.
Your blog and this article in particular have been a kick in the skin tight bright red pants for this old lady reader. At 52 I've been advocating for my rights as a fat person for nearly 30 years - back when there was precious little to wear unless you sewed or didn't mind scratchy poly stretch pants. I still have a crooked middle finger (for real!!) because I knew if I went to the ER or orthopedic doctor somehow a wrenched, broken joint would turn into a fat is bad power struggle. But lately I've been disgusted with how I look - middle-aged, saggy, dumpy...all sorts of negative talk. You are setting me back on the right track with humor, fun, creativity, and justified anger. Your are BEAUTIFUL!!!
Love ya!Nanina
love this!!
Love this post. Amazing. I can't wait til I can accept that I'm fat, I see you as beautiful, proud, fantastic, I'm just lardy.
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