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1/3/13

Fat Sex

WARNING: If you can't handle the heat, then stay out of the kitchen. Personally, I am not ashamed of my sexuality but if you know me offline and reading this would mean you can't look me in the the eye ever again, then for fuck's sake, don't read it. Also links and photos are MNSFW.


I would like everybody to know that I have been having amazing fat sex because of an article I recently read. Like the neighbors might think we have been watching really hilarious movies all weekend. Alright, I laugh wildly instead of the whole scream out in pain thing. But, I had no idea that it could be this way because it isn't something anybody tells you! I decided to Google fat sexual positions and I am glad I did. Now I want to spread the joy to other fat women that might not know either.


Let me start off by telling you that I was a virgin (as far as the heterosexual definition goes) when I met the mister in high school. I had been around the bases but was saving myself. Feel free to barf when you hear this. As a good little Christian (I am atheist now), I wore my promise ring and told junior highers to save their orgasms for Jesus but I was really having awkward and uneducated sex. As our wedding day got closer, we were given The Act of Marriage to read. It was a worn out copy, tattered by generations of horny church-goers before us and featured a couple that looked almost as confused as me.

Luckily we were getting past the fumbling and un-lubricated part of our relationship so our honeymoon was all fireworks and post-coital ice cream. But we were only 19 and our bodies were different. So far, most of the maneuvers I learned from watching movies were working. Fast forward 10 years and we are still trying to do things the same way. I mean, we had a few new tricks but we only slightly modified our positions. It has never been an issue with clitoral stimulation but I felt like we weren't doing something right when it came to penetration and making me happy. When you have a fat belly and other fat tissue (labia, thighs, ass), even if your partner is thinner, it can come between you and a mind-blowing orgasm if you are trying to have sex like non-fat people.

 

I saw a commercial where the couple lost over a 100 pounds together and exclaimed that their sex life was great. Let me tell you, that is bullshit. You do not have to have a certain body shape or weight to have a great sex life. This information just needs to be readily available. I had to wade though a ton of backwards, misogynist crap to find actual instructions for how I should position my body. It was no wonder I had no clue! I won't speak for everyone, but I imagine this practical information would be beneficial for not just straight women. Fat vaginas and fat vagina lovers everywhere need to know!

For me, the modified missionary was the best. Hold the back of your knees (or have your partner hold them down) and pin them down as far as you can. You can alternate between bending your legs and having them straight up if your knees are sore. This is one you can do with your partner on their knees in front of you or you can scoot to the edge of the bed while your partner stands. Don’t skip the pillows. We also did a “dry run” and it was educational and funny and made us both really horny. I recommend it so you can see what you are able to do, what is comfortable and make modifications. Seriously, life changing. Do it.


If you don't hear from me for a few days, you will know why.
- Rachele

66 ♥ COMMENTS ♥:

Sage Adderley said...

You are gorgeous & such an inspiration! I am so glad I came across your blog <3

Doghead Smith said...

rockin' good times!

geetabix said...

Have an excellent weekend!

Nicole Veerman said...

You rock my socks... and your husband's, I'm sure. Have a fantastic frisky weekend.

nikkiana said...

High five!

MA said...

Love this!! Thanks for being candid and so positive. I also grew up a conservative Christian and I'm concerned it's messed with my mind (and sexuality) too much. This is really encouraging!

Tisephonine said...

You are such a huge inspiration to me. Not so much for the article, but the photos you had the balls to get taken. Now I can look at my body with less shame and more pride. (Baby steps)
Rock on! You have no idea how much your courage helps other beautiful fat chicks!

Ashley Marie said...

Hell. Yes. Good for you woman! I need me some good fat sex too. Thanks!! XO

Tams said...

can i just say how great it is to see a naked body in a positive way that looks like my naked body? cause it's pretty rad! i'm single right now but here's hoping your pro-tips will come in handy one day hahahah (oh god so awkward)

Nessbow said...

I love how truly happy and confident you are in these pictures. You look so gorgeous!

Mandy said...

Its getting Hot in here!!!!!! Oh HELL ya!!!!!!!

Helen said...

You are truly inspirational. In your pictures you look completely beautiful and confident.

SarahB said...

You are an INSPIRATION!! X

Hanne Toft Christensen said...

Gorgeous pictures! you're super cool for sharing!! Also, it's so important that we fat girls actually express things about our sexlife. It's uncool that people think that only skinny people have a sexlife - or even a sexuality!

Stephanie "Mama" Hayes said...

You have amazing skin and this is awesome. It's exciting and inspiring to see someone sharing their life so openly on the internet. Every time I read your blog posts about these issues I feel more and more confident in myself! Thanks!

Lauren said...

Go. You.
Such a fucking hero!

My fella's relatively skinny but I've gotten bigger since we've been together. That article... how she mentioned the sheet and the lights... SO TRUE. But what always made me feel better was knowing that no matter how big I was, my hubs always wanted me.
Ugh, love this. Love you. Love these pics. SUCH AN INSPIRATION!!!

Melanie Combs said...

High five!!!! Thanks for being so confident and for not being afraid to discuss that people other than skinny minnies have sex!

Nancy Sinclair said...

Great blog post!!


I have experience a great sex life and always remember the remark from a colleague who was surprised that 'someone like me' had not been single for more than a month since being 19 (I would say this was the age when I really accepted myself). I was initially hurt by her comment but then just thought it was her problem not mine.


I think their is so much worry to conform in every facet of our lives and it includes sex. I am lucky enough to have been in a great relationship now for over a year and I totally agree that sex should be fun and you should laugh.


I occasionally think the reason that my colleague look so glum is because she is not 'someone like me'.


Great blog post and you look stunning in your photos, I wish I was that brave.

Sophie Russell said...

This post is brave and bloody brilliant! I wonder secretly if my bf has read the article you linked, since he always moves me into the modified missionary (he's become adept and quite subtle about shoving that cushion under my butt and pushing my knees up!). Anyway, I'm not complaining! Yay for the fat sex!

Fiona Kleinschmidt said...

This post made me laugh out loud sooo many times! You are truly brave and seriously, seriously stunning. Such a freakin legend! :)

My husband and I have always been very open and were aware of these 'fat' positions after just our own trial and error. But I really wish I knew about these 15 years ago! You're an inspiration, girl. Keep pushing those boundaries. :)

PS. I love your sign off. ;)

xoxo

Carly said...

I think you look amazing in your pictures, I love that you are so empowered to post about things people would love to talk about but don't :) keep pushing the boundaries Rachele

jessica wilson said...

ah Rachele! this is a brilliantly beautiful post and so very true. I often thought about writing about the things that get in the way (ahem) and the ridiculous positioning that happens but is so worth it! This last photo of you is stunning, absolutely stunning! You are gorgeous!

Amy said...

Rachele you LEGEND! I love reading your blog - you're really inspirational! I like the end photo especially because you look like you're having so much fun being naked and everyone deserves to feel like that!

-xo Amy

Caitlin A. said...

I really enjoyed this post, and your photos! Pretty ridiculous for anyone to conflate a good sex life with any body type...we're all just people!

Pocket Moss said...

I love this post!! I really appreciate you writing about this and posting the gorgeous pictures. You rock!

www.mamacase.com said...

This is seriously amazing. I came to your blog for the first time today and love that this was my introduction. Fabulous. Beautiful. Bravo.

ActivistSheep said...

I want to nth the praise in the other comments. You are awesome! This is definitely something I would like to see more talk about in the FA community. I know there are books, but I want more. :-) So, thanks!

I just want to bring up one thing, the phrase "fat vagina." I don't know if you know, but that is something that ob-gyns are falsely taught about fat people as being a reason why we can't have vaginal births. I don't have kids, but I have been reading the well-rounded mama for a while and she has de-bunked this bit of fatphobia a couple of times.
http://wellroundedmama.blogspot.com/2010/12/fat-vagina-theory-soft-tissue-dystocia.html
Long story short: fat vaginas - not really a thing. Yay for fat vulvas!

Brandy Tanner said...

I ditto all the comments thus far. When you mentioned in your previous post that you were going to get "radical" and mentioned fat sex I was super excited and this post did not let me down! Loving myself at my size and all that entails including sex has been a transformation for me the past year...

I'm a fat girl and never started truly LOVING sex until I got divorced and found my current boyfriend. Let me clarify... My ex was a fat guy (which never bothered me) but he never felt comfortable experimenting. His body was something that he didn't like and by extension as his self-hatred grew it seeped over to a hatred of me and my fat. Sex became mechanical and towards the end nonexistent. Because of this (and other reasons) the marriage ended. It was hard to not have this be a blow to my sense of self. As I recovered, started loving the cute, quirky, curvy me again, I met my BF. He's an average guy, not fat or skinny, and not afraid to "get in there", grab me *SIGH* and get the job done! *^_^* I have a whole new perspective of fat sex. We experiment, giggle at moves that clearly will NOT work, and move on to ones that do. Loving ourselves, having fun and sharing passion.


I feel like a wrote a novel, but I had to say it!! You are brilliant. You are brave. And I'm so thankful for a voice like yours in all the noise that is out there. <3

Kym Bozarth said...

First off you have beautiful skin girl, really I'm jealous of your 30 year old skin!
And the line about 'saving your orgasams for Jesus' was a kicker!

Honestly, your post was wonderful and well, honest. I applaud you! Have a terrific fun fatty sex filled weekend! I know I will!

Danielle said...

I have been away for a while dear Rachele... but been back reading your last few posts (congrats on the move) and then today when I dropped by! Girl you took my breath away. Completely. I actually thought about your post on and off through-out the day and am only now coming back to comment. Your beauty is shining more than ever... outside, inside... you are wonderful. I still treasure the artwork you did for me last year and I will never be able to look at it again and not feel your uplifting spirit! xoxo

Megan said...

You look so beautiful, brave lady!! Love this post.

JesTheMilitantBaker said...

Get it, girl.

Sownbrooklyn said...

Really interesting read!! This article and the one you linked to!

Meghan Sara Karre said...

Those are some amazingly sexy photos! I just had to say that, in the least creepy way (I hope).

unitedstatesofbecky said...

Hell yes! You rocked it, girl. Excellent post!

Ashley said...

Rachele. You. Rock.

I am so nspired by your positive outlook, your pride in YOU, and your bravery. You're beautiful!!

maura said...

beautiful!

Carly said...

Holy shit girl...now THAT is confidence! a) brooching a subject that most people would be awkward as shit talking about and b) rocking those nudie photos...YOU ARE A BABE!

Lucy-Anne Elbery said...

What a fantastic post! And you look fantastic in the photos!

Sammi M said...

I admire your comfort with yourself, and you look absolutely beautiful. Enjoy all the hot sex with your honey! :D

Meg N. said...

You are BEAUTIFUL, Rachele! You inspire me so much!

mana said...

Great blog post, lady! I am also a fattie that has a fat-anstic sex life & I looooved reading this post!

Kudos to you for spreading the word & for having such a fun time while doing so! :)

Love it!



www.honeyedthyme.blogspot.com

llara said...

This made me chuckle. The witty bits (orgasms for Jesus - it sounds like a cult). I think, regardless of size, it's just pretty ace to see someone being so open and factual about sex - it's not something you see much of. And so helpful. Here's hoping you've sent some folk off for a rocking night!

Liana said...

THANK. YOU. I just sent my husband your article after getting really emotional about the whole topic. I have gained quite a bit of weight and am struggling with accepting myself and/or changing it. I am so sick of hating what I see in the mirror but it's so hard to love yourself sometimes. It's all such a mind-fuck. I don't know, but I love your blog. You are awesome. And, I really miss having good sex. Also, what is your lipgloss?

Big Fat Betty said...

Your post is so refreshing, in many ways, and you look sensational! Out of curiousity, have you read Big Big Love (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/158761085X/ref=oh_details_o03_s00_i00)? I'm not sure if it actually contains any relevant advice, as I haven't read it yet...it's sat on my bookshelf with a few other fat related books I've yet to read!

Char said...

This is an amazing post! x

Faith Bradley said...

There are almost naked pictures of you on the internet. To some, that would be there worst nightmare, but I think you have done something so incredibly brave, empowering, and beautiful I love it! It's very refreshing to look at a picture of someone that I have been raised to think is disgusting, and look at it with a new perspective of beauty. My whole life I've been raised to think that fat is sub-human, gross, and unacceptable--but then how can you look so beautiful?? Thank you for putting these photos up, it's so refreshing to see something besides one body type all the time--we need diversity!

TrishArgh said...

<3 rachel, you look awesome and are awesome and I think it's awesome you did this post :D and glad to hear you're happy and satisfied ^^

Amberly said...

You look just like me, and I love you for showing your beautiful self! It's so nice to see the fat can be sexy and proud.

Krista Tannahill said...

OMG, I read this and I love your writing - witty, sarcastic, truthful and funny. Honesty is hard to come by when reading blogs. So refreshing.

TheCupcakeMommyKaren said...

Your post has changed my thinking. You have no idea! Can you be my girl crush? <3

thekissypearl said...

I loved the honesty behind this post!
PS Your photos are BEAUTIFUL lady!

Megan Duncan said...

FUCK YEAH! Thank you. You are such an amazing person, this made my day (also I think after I read the article that will make my night!). YOU ROCK!

betty turbo said...

love your pictures, especially the last one! so much joy! outstanding!!

artsykelly said...

I really just want to know what lipgloss you're wearing... I have SUCH trouble finding a gorgeous coral that doesn't look too orange or pink.

kim smith said...

This is amazing. Thank you so much for posting this! I've always been really open about sex with my friends but never been brave enough to post about it online. hehe. You are amazing. :]

Demetria said...

thank you for sharing Rach. The Pictures are beyond beautiful and you are so comfortable in your body that you are almost glowing. I hope to one day have wonderful fat sex as well! ha ha!

JesTheMilitantBaker said...

Still my favorite article you've ever written.

jpey said...

U r fick sexey

joshua said...

Hi
sexey

jpey said...

Hisex

jpey said...

Hi sexe

Untypically Jia said...

Love this so much!

Audrey said...

You're my new favorite blogger and I love you. Be back in a few days... just kidding. No, fuck it, I'm actually not. haha

Megs said...

Yep, you're amazing. Every part of me wishes you were my new best friend. :)

Adam Hasson said...

I love you baby.Thank you for everything .. . To watch you is magnificient . . a
You have got a nice blog . Really
i like your blog .
I will follow your blog...
I wanna watch you for . , . .
That's very nice.

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