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1/8/13

I Am Not Being Brave


The things is, I am not brave. I am not brave because I do things "even when I look like this" or because "even though I am fat." I am not being brave, I am confident that I am fucking perfect! The word brave is defined as ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage. It indicates that you have a fear or hesitation. That despite something terrible, you are making a choice to do it anyway. Overcoming all odds. You see, I am not at odds with my fat and don't see it as something terrible that requires courage.

Sadly, it isn't acceptable to be vain. We are told that we must be a martyr of our own bodies and let someone else decide what is acceptable. We must feed corporations with our own self-doubt and let them prey on our insecurities. You have to join the club and participate in conversations about how much we hate ourselves. Like a competition of who can be the most unsatisfied with various body parts or the size of said body parts. But it doesn't have to be that way! Instead of being rewarded for being brave, we can be complimented on our perfection and fabulous-ness.

What a wonderful world that would be! If everyone was as free from body shame as I am. But it's something we are ingrained with at an early age. There are layers and layers that need to be peeled back. Like when I was 10 and someone told me that I was better off not wearing my pink two-piece with black polka dots and endless frills because my teeny belly was round. I immediately lost a little bit of my shine. Every deflating experience with my own body and influence continued to tarnish me. By the time I was 30, I could have easily been covered in rust. But I have spent time polishing and buffing off those layers of shame and body hate. Each time I wear what I want, talk about fat acceptance or post my picture on the internet, I am wiping away some of that gunk.

I am not being brave, I am confident that I am perfect.
- Rachele

28 ♥ COMMENTS ♥:

Jessica Lemke Reader said...

You really are brave though. YOu can be perfect, proud, and brave all at the same time. Whether you are a size 6 or 26, if you can say "Eff off, I am perfect no matter what you think!!" then you are brave.

Helen said...

Yes!

I was talking to my friend about how I feel amazing, I don't feel perfect and definitely don't measure up to society's standards but I do think I'm amazing and I how when I reached this conclusion I enjoyed everything more

http://ahandfulofhope.blogspot.co.uk/

bootsystar said...

i think you are brave a.n.d confident- and that both of those things are rad. keep doing your thing, lady!

Jess Rollar said...

I agree completely! You are perfect and I wish most could see that they are perfect to. Over the past month of discovering the fat acceptance and loving myself, I have never felt more happier in my life. I feel sexy and fierce! I have never felt like that before! <3 milkyrobot.blogspot.com

Karyna @ Paper Squid said...

Such an awesome post. Thank you, really.

It's true; unfortunately even family members or people I know who perhaps "meant well" were part of that early tarnishing which like you, now I am gratefully wiping clear. For example my best friend, EVERYTIME I'd go to her house (I'm 32 now, I was a teen then) her grandmother before saying hello would ALWAYS in a "friendly" way comment in spanish to me either "Oh you're looking fat" OR "Oh, you're looking skinny"... But I never said anything because she was older. Like that's what I needed to hear in teenage years, crazy! I laugh now realizing how fucked up that was, and how she was doing or thinking in a way that was taught to her and she was repeating bad and stupid patterns of behavior… — BUT the message, like you've stated awesomely, is that one has to wake up for ourselves and realize all the bullshit imposed by others (or corporations) is a lot of times just that: bullshit. Some people are insecure and love to knowingly OR unknowingly project that on others, whether they themselves learned that at home or fucking commercials and bullshit magazines. (BTW, I've done retouching on photos for a company I worked yeeears ago; there's as we knjow, lots of lies in those photos).
We can't change people but we can definitely change our reactions and our own perspective.

Awesome Post!

PoppyByfield said...

Indeed!

Mama Nervosa said...

I looooove this post.

Patti said...

you go Rachelle!!!! <3

Lisa said...

Beautifully said. Bravo! Lisa at She was a Bird

Nicole Veerman said...

Heck yah you are.



Great post, Rachele.

Meg N. said...

I love this post. You make a great point that somehow it isn't socially acceptable to be proud of your body if your body isn't the mainstream ideal. I can imagine a woman with a slim, toned body saying she's proud of it and people would encourage her and say that she deserves to be proud; yet if an overweight woman says so, people begin attacking her and saying she can't be proud unless she changes.

Your attitude has helped me so much with accepting my body as it is and breaking the habit of always telling myself that I need to lose weight to fit into smaller clothes.

Fiona Kleinschmidt said...

I think what you are responding to is the few comments on your previous 'naked' post that said that you were being brave. As the author of one of these posts, I feel the need to clarify. Yes, being brave is classified as "ready to face and endure danger or pain". But the point I have made - that you are brave - applies to the knowledge we all have, that the mainstream unfortunately do not view our beautiful bodies the way we ourselves view them.

I too feel that my body is beautiful and don't give any weight to anyone's comment telling me different. But the idea that you would post photos of your body on the internet, for all to see, taking into account the criticism that you may face, shows a crazy amount of strength. It's a bold statement that you've made, whether you realise it or not. You've taken a brazen step forward. To love your body in your mind and in your heart, and in your home and in your every day life, is one thing. But to love your body in a public forum, where you are open to ridicule and opinions that are hurtful and damaging, is quite another thing altogether.

You ARE brave, Rachele. You're fearless! You're amazing.



www.fionaatlarge.blogspot.com

Enjoying the Epiphany said...

Beautifully said my friend. You are amazing!

Amy said...

This is so true, what a beautiful place the world would be without body shame. Someday, I hope to achieve that, to undo years upon years of critique I got from the ballet world about what was "wrong" with my body. I know intellectually that there is NOTHING wrong with my body, but still feel the emotional effects of all of that harshness, and ridicule.

Three cheers for your confidence and your truth! I really admire you for spreading this happiness, and acceptance.

elizabeth said...

one thousand times yes

Beth Manago said...

You inspire me to be better. I have gained so much confidence from reading your blog and following your journey. What a wonderful world it would be if girls grew up loving themselves and women held each other up instead of tearing each other apart.

Shaunta said...

I love this post. I think I understand what you mean. I have a son who has autism, and for nearly twenty years people have told me how brave I am. It's not brave to be his mother. What choice do I have? He's my kid and I love him as hard and as fully as I love my other kids. It's the same, I think, when it comes to being body confident. I've struggled with it more--but it's starting finally to make sense. What choice do I have? This is my body. Living in it isn't an act of fucking bravery, anymore than living in a small body is brave. It's just living.
xoxox Shaunta

LindsayK! said...

Fuck Yeah! You are such a radical babe!

Satin&Souffles said...

Such an inspiring post! I love your blog! & hair! & tattoos! Beautiful lady haha xx

www.satinandsouffles.com

www.satinandsouffles.com

annebeth said...

i completely and utterly love this. And I totally understand what you're saying about not being brave. Brave always implies having something you should be hiding or be ashamed of, even though the person using the word might not actually agree with that shame. You ARE perfect. People are beautiful. I wish we all saw that.

Tyler Faye said...

And you are.

Jessica said...

Wow, you go girl. Seriously, I wish I was as confident as you are. Even though I'm in good shape, I still have body issues. I wish I didn't, but I do. I hope someday I can be as confident as you with my body :)

-Jessica (Sew In Love)

Rachele said...

You are quite right! It was somewhat nerve wracking to hit that publish button because of how easy it is for the internet to chew you up and spit you out. That aspect definitely requires some bravery. Heck, anytime you post something on the internet can be scary. I guess I was born with an extra amount of bold :D


Thanks for all the support and encourage as always!

Rachele said...

Beautiful!

Rachele said...

Yes, I would love to live in that world!

Rachele said...

I love this!

geetabix said...

If only everyone could be as free from body shame (hair shame, race shame, etc) as you. How much could we get done??

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